love stinks

Each emotional injury
Leaves behind its mark
Sometimes they come tumbling out
Like shadows in the dark
I get this feeling...


Sorry for the emotional outburst. It was a very bad day, so I hope any who read this will understand. Love is the greatest thing we have. It's the only real reason for us to endure what life hands us sometimes. But it really stinks when you lose something you love.
This morning, I was cleaning the kitchen. Of course, first on that list was doing the dishes. I hadn't seen Kitty in a couple of days, but that hasn't been unusual the last few months. He used to always want to be wherever I was at, but the last few months it hasn't been the case. I was worried, at first, when his habit changed...but everything seemed ok, so I didn't think there was a problem. He was usually in Briana's room, so I figured he was just getting older, and that his habits were changing. Then, I opened the cabinet door under the sink this morning....and there he was. I knew as soon as I saw him there...he was gone.
I know he was "just an animal", but my heart immediately sank into it's darkest depths. He was Briana's cat, but in all reality...he has been "my kitty" for so many years. All I could do at first was sit down and cry. Since Briana left home, first to go to college, and now to start her new life...he has been my only comfort. I aways knew, no matter how good or bad my day went, Kitty would be there, hollering at me when he wanted love. Oh God, how I'm going to miss him!
I've had pets before. And as is due course, they've all passed. And it always hurt. But nothing like this. I don't know why. Maybe it's because of the way Briana brought him home, against my wishes. Or because of how we thought we had lost him that very first night. Or how I was so concerned about him a year later that I drove straight through from Minneapolis to Ft Worth, because he didn't do well while we were gone that week.
Maybe it's because of how horrified I felt two years ago when I found him in lying in the kitchen floor, near death, because of the food I had always been feeding him. And how, when he was in the hospital, I would stop by to see him every morning before work, and every evening after work. Or how he purred when he saw me when I came to see him.
No, it's really because for the last 8 years he has been a major part of my life. Something I could always look forward to coming home for. No matter how bad my day might have gone, I always knew he would be there. And now he's gone. I'll get past it, like I always have. But it surely hurts right now!